America’s peanut crunching, sunflower spitting, base stealing pastime recently received a facelift when MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred noticed that baseball no longer attracts a widespread audience like it used to. It seemed as though other sports were heading in a new direction and baseball lagged in the past and after hasty consideration, the MLB determined that “streamlining” the game would open the doors of the future to a broader audience — unfortunately, this decision was about as effective as hitting into a double play. The commissioner’s office failed to consider the rippling repercussions of modifying old rules and thus incited a predominantly negative reactions from tendered fans and players alike. The desired effects of eliminating the four-pitch intentional walk, implementing instant replay, and punishing aggressive sliding tactics, has obviously caused baseball more harm than good.

First off, it is important to note that sunburning is not a successful method of tanning and is both physically painful and in regards to your health, extremely dangerous. Although the “golden tan” many beachgoers covet can appear when burnt skin peels away, the effects of this sketchy method can be devastating. The Skin Cancer Foundation explains that “By damaging the skin’s cellular DNA, excessive UV radiation produces genetic mutations that can lead to skin cancer”. Testing your luck by not sunscreen can have adverse effects in the future.

The sun has been around for over four billion years, emitting ultraviolet rays directly on the Earth. It’s true that the sun means business and even a half hour without protective measures under direct light can leave you feeling like you have sandpaper skin for several days. So, if you do find yourself unlucky enough to be red in the face, and chafed everywhere else after this spring break, for your own good, do not let it happen again. But for now, here’s what to do:

If there are two things Portland aspires to it’s a rising food scene and an ironically hipster population. The pilot episode to our city’s namesake program, “Portlandia”, clearly demonstrates and hyperbolizes the typical Portland dining experience. Within minutes, Protagonist, Fred Armisen, inquires about the origin of the chicken, scrutinizing the details to the longitudinal and latitudinal farm coordinates and the chicken’s emotional health. Although humorous, this small snippet shows Portland’s eccentric need to be organic and sustainable.

The closer the breakout from high school to real life approaches the more daunting it seems. We go from  being expected to ask an adult to relieve yourself while in class, to having the immense responsibility of budgeting your finance above the bare subsistence of three Top Ramen meals a day. The leap into adulthood includes many possibilities like furthering your education at a University that can cripple your already empty pockets, submerging yourself into a competitive job pool, or for the indecisive it can even mean a gap year into lands unknown.

“His name at the time was Chubby Hubby, as in the Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream, and he was blind,” explains Dillon McNeil with a smile- reminiscing about the first time he saw his beloved yellow lab. Fortunately for the pup, the McNeil family renamed him Ellis, a name they deemed much more fitting for the friendly canine. When the five year old mutt moseyed into Dillon’s life by way of the Milwaukie dog shelter “Family Dogs New Life,” there was no way of knowing what a cool and loving presence Ellis was going to for years to come.